Monday, November 21, 2011

I have a couple of questions for my psych homework that I don't understand, here it is:?

I have to diagnos these following scenarios:


"Steve, age 34, has spent the last 3 weeks in teh hospital being treated for an alaphylactic reaction to penicillin which was injected to treat another disorder. Steve was aware of his penicillin sensitivity, but did not inform anyone in the hospital of the problem. Growing up he was a sickly child and had numerous childhood illnesse. He spent most of his adult like in and out of hospitals. He blames these numerous visits on other people being irresponsible and not doing there job to find out what is wrong with him. When Steve is admitted to a hospital, he is a bad patient, requiring extra care and constant monitoring. As soon as he is discharged from one hospital, he presents himself at another. Some of his symptoms have included acute gastrointestinal pain, skin ulcerations(from injecting saliva under his skin), and blindness(he poured caustic lye into his eyes to produce blindness.)





Any diagnoses are greatly appreciated! thanks.

I have a couple of questions for my psych homework that I don't understand, here it is:?
According to the DSM-IV-TR (pg. 513), the difference between malingering and facticious disorders is that the self injury in malingering cases is purposeful (e.g., they are trying to get out of jury duty or something). In the case above, the patient's only motivation is to "assume the sick role." Thus, I'd say he suffers from "factitious disorder with predominantly physical signs and symptoms"--if you wanted to include both the type and subtype in your answer (pg. 514). Oh, and just so you know, while "Munchausan's" is probably correct--it is not an official DSM-IV diagnosis. Your psych prof might want you to stick to the DSM-IV manual. If so, just list the type and subtype in your answer. Good luck!
Reply:and the name of the disease slips my tongue.......Munchausen syndrome
Reply:Munchausen syndrome is a type of factitious disorder, or mental illness, in which a person repeatedly acts as if he or she has a physical or mental disorder when, in truth, they have caused the symptoms. People with factitious disorders act this way because of an inner need to be seen as ill or injured, not to achieve a concrete benefit, such as financial gain. They are even willing to undergo painful or risky tests and operations in order to get the sympathy and special attention given to people who are truly ill. Munchausen syndrome is a mental illness associated with severe emotional difficulties.
Reply:munchausen syndome pretty sure this is it








http://www.clevelandclinic.org/health/he...
Reply:Look it up, there is something called Munchhousen's Syndrome that sounds like this, where the patient hurts themselves to get to the hospital.
Reply:It sounds as if he might have Munchausen's. (That might not be spelled right, so be sure to double-check.) These patients are, in a sense, medical care addicts. They will cause themselves to become injured or sick for the specific goal of receiving medical care, usually in a hospital. Because they want to remain in the hospital, they can be difficult patients to work with, since they depend on deceiving their physicians to keep their story going as long as possible. They often go from one hospital to another, since as soon as a hospital discovers that they have this psychological disorder the hospital will refuse to give any medical care. It sounds like Steve might have only received attention from his illnesses as a child, and this pattern caused him to believe that he would only be given care/love/attention when he was ill. As a result, he feels a compulsion to lie/hurt himself in order to obtain that attention.





This disorder is different from a patient who self-injures: these patients find emotional relief in the act of self-injury itself and will often avoid seeking medical care for their self-inflicted injuries.
Reply:Its sounds like a somatoform disorder, probably conversion disorder because the symptoms don't seem to make biological sense, indicating that he is malingering.


However, conversion disorders typically occur after a seriously stressful event and occur as a way for the patient to escape, so I may be wrong.


What about somatization disorder? Because he seeks medical treatment and because it started in childhood...


Munchausen's also seems likely because he blames others for his "bad care".


What do you think?

bougainvillea

Who would do this?

By Detoxing and Rejuvenating your Mind, Body and Spirit,





1. You allow yourself to heal from any toxins that have been held inside your body,


2. You allow your Mind to release any harsh feelings or Sad emotions,


3. You allow your Spirit to become open and free. Once you ahve Detoxified and Rejuvenated your Mind Body and Spirit,


4. You can finally Allow yourself to enjoy real Homeostasis.





(Homeostasis: Optimal Well being, Optimal Health, At a point in your life when all is ok, and righht with you Physically, Mentally, Emotionall, and Spiritually.)





Stress can make any disorder worse. May it be Mental Emotional or physical. Stress is when you worry way too much about things that can be fix with a little effort on your own personal part.


Stress has been proven to cause serious health risks, such as heart disease, Endurance Problems, Fatigue, Emotional Imbalances, etc.


There are options to dealing stress and weight loss. Such as Detox plans and rejuvenation Plans, as the one I have enclosed.





I definitely stress that you consult your physician, about anything new or changes in your daily regimine. As this plan will affect other areas of your Daily living and Medications.





Please feel free to Copy and Print this to your own Blank Text and save it and print it out when you go to your DR again.





--------------------------------------...


One month detox and rejuvenation plan





STEP ONE: Detox: (week one)





a), Drink lots of water





b) lay off the sodas, beer, tea, coffee, etc





c) Basically go on a water fast(drink water only and no food), for 7days consecutively.





d)for even more detoxifying effects, maybe sit in a Sauna for about 20-30 minutes, twice during your 7day detox(once when during day two and once during day four), allowing your pores to open up and allow the toxins to come out.





STEP TWO: Rejuvenate (Goes hand in hand with step one, done during the entire month and future days) (If you are under the age of 18 with a proper ID, You have to be accompanied by a parent to any Spa or Massage Clinic.)





a) Go to a spa, and enjoy a nice warm Mud Bath or a Bodywrap, Then a two hour Massage, starting with ROM Assessment/Joint therapy, to relieve any joint stress or tension,





b) Then a Little Myofascial Stretching to give the skin and muscle a nice warming stretch,





c) Then a slightly Vigorus Swedish to relax the muscles,





d) Then a Little acupressure to relieve any trigger points,





e) Then ending a soft Swedish to really relax those muscles.





f) Then maybe get a nice salt scrub to really open your pores, and soften the skin.





g) Then take a nice warm shower, rinse away any toxin that may have come to the surface, and excess oils from the salt scrub.





h) Then rinse with cold water to tighten the pores and waken the bodys energies and chakras.





i) Find a reiki practioner and get a session to help restart your chakras as you may have a few that need a boost.





STEP THREE: Exercise, (can be done during step one and two, and is incorporated into our lives forever til we die)





Try a Tai chi Class, Yoga, Pilates, Aerobics, or Jazzercise, Maybe take up swimming, or Ballrom Dancing.





STEP FOUR: Eat Proper ( this starts during week two and continues into our everyday lives) (with fewer/healthier meals/snacks for thinner people), and (Smaller portions But more often/healthier meals/snacks with heavier people)





STEP FIVE:Plan yourself a Healthy But tasty diet plan including and starting with: (this is just a recommended plan Not set in stone if you know what I mean.)





BREAKFAST:


Minimum of 8oz glass of water at room temp each morning,


Followed by a 8oz glass of Freshly juiced Organic Fruit juice, 3 Apples, 2 slices of pineapple, 1 pear, and four carrots, this will give your body a Natural energetic boost.


Then followed by a warm bowl of Whole oat cereal.


No refined sugars, If you need sweet use honey, or maple syrup.





SNACKS include:


light leafy salads, Natural Nuts, Organic anything.





LUNCH:





eat a Nice veggie salad with vinegar and Oil dressing, Not Italian or any thing with dairy. Follow it with a warm Turkey or Chicken breast sandwich (skinless, and as little fat as possible if any all. Try to avoid any heavy meats Like beef or pork during the early moring or lunch times. Follow the sandwich with some watermelon or strawberries, or some kind of fresh fruit salad if you are a still hungry or just want a nice desert. Watermelon or any type of Melon will help to fill you up faster.


Drink water at a couple of degrees cooler than room tempurature.





DINNER:


start with a nice small Garden salad with tomatoes, leafy lettuce, radishes, carrot slivers, Almonds, Sunflower seed Kernals, and Spinach, again with a vinegarette, instead of salad dressing. Followed by Either a baked or broiled Poultry or Fish Dinner fresh of course, no frozen crap. No Fried, Minimal If you want Butter try to get Organic or some sort of spread that has low carb and transfat count., Or just stay away from Butter all together, But use lemon at your own choosing, fresh pepper(s), No salt, fresh Green beans , Organic Whole wheat bread, Whole grain Pastas if you prefer. Organic Rice.





Anything and everything Organic





Stay away from Refined sugars(candy, or anything non organic





If anything at all try to eat as organic as you can possibly eat. IF you read a lables Ingrediants list, and you can't pronounce the words then it is toxic for your Body, and Mind, and

Who would do this?
good idea but.... i love to eat and coul not get past the water fast


Skinny, yet still have fat?

Alright, well people always tell me all the time how thin I am. One time my mother took me to a nutritionist because she thought I had an eating disorder, and you get it, people think I'm skinny.





My measurements for my waist is 26in an dhips at 35in, which I think is small as well?





Anyway, my point being, although I look the part, I still have a lot of fat (or skin) on my stomach, hips, thighs. I am not exaggerating, I can literally grab a handful of it off of my stomach and I laugh when people ask why I'm wearing a one piece to the pool.





How come this is? Is it skin or fat? How do I get rid of it?Why do I have it? I will not talk to my doctor about this for we really don't get along ever since she accused me of having anorexia.





I personally think it's fat because I have lost ionches by working out.





Thanks for reading this and please respond!

Skinny, yet still have fat?
Anyone can grab skin/fat off their stomach. It is not excess fat, it's normal. If you couldn't grab skin or fat from your stomach, it would be because you were just bones! Stop worrying, your measurements are fine, you sound pefect : )
Reply:Have you lost weight if so its skin. or maybe its just fat. Try lipo!
Reply:You have lost too much weight. This is excess skin. Eat.
Reply:It sounds like the look you desire will require more activity, and also more eating.
Reply:I don't think 26-35 is skinny. It's thin. But don't loose more or you'll become skinny.
Reply:more likley it is excess skin, if i were you i would save up a few grand and go to the plastic surgeon and get that skin surgicly removed, hell if you want people to show the precedure on tv you probably get a huge discount or maybee even get it for free
Reply:if it's skin ab workouts should help to tighten the skin.. and since you're lean, if it's skin in can't be all that bad..





if its fats, well, i can empathize, lol. just need to workout more, they build up when i slack off.





but then again, everyone's body is different.. handle in input-output ratio? take up gourmet cooking? lol.. quality over quantity when it comes to food.. yep.
Reply:go to a gym and get a personal trainer, you need toned is all.
Reply:DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU SWEAT TIL YOUR CLOTHES ARE WET...NOT KIDDING AND CHECK THE FAT CONTENT ON WHATEVER IS IN YOUR DIET....
Reply:That handful that you are able to grab is your skin. Further, it is impossible for a human to have 0% body fat.
Reply:My personal trainer would call you a skinny fat chick , not to be mean though, You just need to work out and firm your body than you look and feel more toned.
Reply:sorrie to burst your bubble, but if you honestly think like that, then you probably are anorexic.
Reply:I'm skinny as welll so I know how it feels.


You probably aren't exercising enough. But you can still be skinny because you probably eat right or don't eat enough.


Hope I Helped.
Reply:It's probably mostly skin and some fat. Continue to work out because that's the best thing anyone can do for themselves. Try a yoga or pilates class since their focus is on the core, or center of your body. Also, fat is a healthy thing. Not a lot, but a little as insulation for the body. No one wants any but you must accept that everyone will have a little. Don't worry about what you can grab people can't see what you "could" stretch away from your belly.
Reply:It's probably fat. And you have it because you're supposed to, you're a female. You're naturally supposed to maintain a higher level of body fat, and it's your body's way of keeping you safe and warm by keeping bits of fat on your body.





Excessively low body fat percentages can lead to not so great effects like completely halted menstural cycles.





But if you have such a problem with your doctor, then you should probably switch to a new one.
Reply:first you look good! second you neeed a new doctor
Reply:You know wut... for my thought you are skinny... bu the thing is that you feel fat...and when you look at the mirrow you see yourself as being fat... and that is not true... just be comfortable with what you have... cauz... as people have told you you are thin... and that is ok.... but if you are doing somethin to loose weight is not good for you... that can become an addiction.... think that you have the perfect body... and you are super OK with it... and then when you start believing what you are thinking... you'll see you'll notice how great your body is..... just know~ you are perfect as you are..... i am telling you this cauz i have had that experience..... but now i feel better about body...super comfortable and all...... just be yourself and don't worry cauz you will be alright.... who cares... if you wear a bikini??? SUPER fat girls wear bikinis...and they don't care about their weight... ecause they are comfortable as they look....... so don't try to please others with your beauty or body...... just please yourself~ if someone likes you..it should be because of who you are not because of how you look..... well i hope this answer will help you... anyways...... take care o yourself.... and good luck


Is it likely. . .?

to have regular periods and still have PCOS, too? I'm being tested on the 23rd- but I'm freaking out in the meantime.


As far as symptoms go:





I check my sugar daily, because I have a family history of diabetes. It's always in the normal-low range, even after I've eated a large meal.





My periods are on the heavy side. I do have a bleeding disorder, so I don't know if this contributes.





I don't have excess hair- but I do have a few stray hairs on my toes.





My BP is on the low side.





I have acne. I'm 21. . . but my husband and everyone else I know my age tends to have SOME acne. It's nothing horrible. One or two zits every now and then.





I have a few skin tags- two under my arm, two on the side of my neck, and about five small ones on my neck.





As for dark skin patches- I think I have some under my arm- but compared to pictures they aren't the same.





What's the chances?

Is it likely. . .?
Honestly, the symptoms you're describing are symptoms that are common for everyone. Who doesn't get a little acne from time to time, who doesn't have a few skin tags? Your BP and blood sugar look good. I know you have regular periods, but do you ovulate regularly?





I wouldn't even go in there assuming anything. I think it's possible to have the symptoms you're describing and not have PCOS.





Good luck and try not to worry.
Reply:I have PCOS but not too many of the symptoms, except not ovulationg and I'm a little overweight. The chances are good, but it doesn't sound like a severe case


Could this be a tick bite?

A few days ago I saw what seemed to be a black freckle on my lower leg that had some redness and peeling skin around it. The skin was peeling in a way that can't quite be grabbed, but surrounded it like a bulls eye. The redness is basically a blot.





After speaking to my parents about it they told me that it is too small to be a tick because they bloat as they take in blood. Since I have OCD and Anxiety Disorder it's been hard to just let it go. I have had a slight head ache and felt a little feverish tonight but I think it could just be a placebo effect.





They both think it's a simple spider bite or something along those lines.





What do you think?

Could this be a tick bite?
Sounds like a spider bite! The Bullseye is a symptom. More specifically a Brown Recluse Spider (or Desert Recluse).





It's actually the most dangerous spider in North America an it's venom is over 10 times more powerful than a rattle snake.





I got bit by the Desert Recluse and it wasn't much fun. (check out my answer on being bitten by a spider.)





If you can you should see a doctor. I didn't, but if the area continues to grow it can get really dangerous.

shell flower

HELP! I was raped..please help?

I'm 22 yr old male. At age of 14 I was raped in my boarding school. To this day I am suffering bcoz of that shocking experience. A 14 yr old innocent boy raped by a group of seniors. It was extremely humiliating %26amp; it has shattered my life. It's something so shameful that I could never tell it to anyone. Also I've a physically and emotionally abusive father. I am the only son. My only support is my mom. She has always been there for me %26amp; given me moral support %26amp; unconditional love. I share many personal matters with her because she's very understanding, friendly, and supportive person. But now she is suffering from cancer. The only thing I kept secret from her is this horrible thing in the past -rape. It is very shameful %26amp; I to this day I don't fell comfortable with my body. Meaning I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I'm suffering emotionally. At 22 I secretly took psychatric treatment for post traumatic disorder. But sometimes I feel guilty for hiding frm mom. Should I tell her?

HELP! I was raped..please help?
Don't tell Mom, but get some professional help., you still need help. You really need to resolve this, or it will haunt you the rest of your file. There is nothing for you to be ashamed of you were the victim. You know, you could probably press charges against those guys, the odds are you were not the only person that it happened too.





Do not let these people continue to hurt you, they are not worth it. You deserve something better.








if you know any there names or where abouts, you may want to watch, they may be coming up in court on a sex abuse charge and you could be useful to testify against them. What better way to get even!
Reply:yes
Reply:Only you know your mum and how she will react.


Maybe she will think about you and not what she is suffering, but then again she maybe overwhelmed and not take it well - you will need to be the judge.


Do you go to church is there someone in church you can talk to, or if your mum is ill I am sur ethe hospital she is associated with would have a service for you to use to aid not only in what you have suffered in the past but the grief you will need to deal with when she passes. Ask at the hospital.
Reply:Nobody can answer this for you. We don't know your mother and can never really appreciate your relationship. My advice to you would be to talk to your Psychiatrist whom has been treating you and allow him/her to guide you to the best choice.





Other than that all I can offer is this: if you feel like sharing this with your mother will bring you comfort and bring the two of you closer than maybe you should.





You didnt mention if your mothers cancer was treatable or not. I would suggest thought that you wait until she has a chance to deal with her health issues and be there for her right now. Then someday when shes better or even just accepted her illness talk to her about your attack.





good luck
Reply:When i was under 5 my own father rapped me on many occastions i told my mom when i was about 5 n a half n it was the best thing i had ever done. Mothers are so undrstanding n loving n wat the worse thing to do is not to tell her n her finding out when she is at the harest part of her cancer. I am only 15 now but i am saying tell ur mom let her help u n her love will help u through this. I know wat u r feeling i felt like this till i was about 12 where i never liked me. But my mom helped me through it i went n saw a theripst n i have a school couniler n i have my mom so tell ur mom coz u will be so much better off. And about ur dad my dad was the same i used to get hit by him with belts n doors n my head hit against walls n floors even tho my dad has done this i have learned to forgive him. I hope this may help in anyway. If u want to talk at anytime e mail me at cass_030_791@yahho.com or coral_0307@hotmail.com
Reply:#1 Forgive yourself,because you were a victim. #2 keep it from your mom,coz she don't need the extra worry, she has enough on her plate. #3 Tell someone that loves you about your experience. And # 4 Forgive yourself all the guilt and depression,oryou will not be able to move on with your life. Women have been raped for generations, and that is what we have to do to survive the humiliation and guilt and disgust for people who take advantage and assault other human beings. I hope you will lean on God for all your needs coz if you take it to HIM He will bear it for you. Fight back and Don't Be A Victim
Reply:if your mom loves ya, she'll sit you down on a bed and hold ya while ya cry your eyes out......thats what i would want but then agian i have no idea how you feel even tho it sounds bad. Or maybe you guys could cry together. Best of luck, i hope your mother feels better, i will keep her in my prayers
Reply:If you asked he she would probably tell you that she would want to know, but some times even grown ups don't know what's best for them. Don't tell her now, it will upset her and make it harder for her to focus on her fight.


I'm glad you are getting treatment and I hope you know, even if you don't believe it yet, that what happned to you is not something for you to be ashamed of and that you are beautiful. Someday, when your mom is all better and you are ready you can bring her with you to therapy and tell her what happned.
Reply:I feel so terrible for you. I'm glad to hear you've sought some professional counseling. Did your psychiatrist feel that you'd come to terms with your past experiences? Because it sounds as if you haven't, and could use some more professional assistance. I doubt you'll find your answers here, unless someone else has been through the same things. Ignore the heartless comments from certain idiots who think they're being funny.





While I haven't been in your situation, my husband has, only he was raped between the ages of 5 and 7. Both of his parents were abusive, and he had only his sister for support (and she had issues of her own). It wasn't until he went through some extensive therapy (more than just a few sessions) that he was able to deal with the damage he'd suffered. Now he is a confident, warm, wonderful husband and father.





I can't tell you the right thing to do because everyone is different. If I were your mother, I'd want to know. I'd do anything to help and comfort my child. But depending on your mother's constitution and the severity of her illness, this information could make her feel worse. Or, maybe she'd rather know. Maybe you could bring it up with her in a roundabout way, like, "So Mom, if something bad happened to me that you couldn't change or fix, that happened a long time ago, would you want to know?" But unless a qualified, accredited psychologist or psychiatrist responds on this forum, I recommend you talk to a professional before you tell your mother.





Above all, please, please remember that you have nothing to be ashamed of. You have done nothing wrong. Your mother loves you, and I'm sure others love you as well. And in the future, you may learn to love yourself.





Just read your additional details. Do not keep it a secret for the rest of your life. I'm glad to hear your mom's on the road to recovery. Right now may not be the right time to tell her, but as she regains her strength, when she asks what's going on, tell her. It will help both of you to heal. Best of luck -- I care!
Reply:u should tell her. like in the scarlet letter, dimmesdale suffered more because he kept his sin a secret, than if he would have admitted it to society. in this case, ur not the one at fault but this trouble is really bothering u. u need to let it out. the first step in recovering is to openely express what has happened in the past instead of keepibng it bottle up and erupting like a bottle rocket.
Reply:ok, were you raped by senior guys or girls? just wondering....hmmmmm....well, honey.....I know it must be really hard for you because you are still scarred from what happened and I'm so incredibly sorry that happened to you.....well, I've always been an honest person and if something like that happened to me, I would definitely tell my mom.....in my opinion, I think she has a right to know.....I know she is ill right now and maybe you feel like you don't wanna tell her because it's gonna add more worries for her, but hey......you gotta do what you gotta do.....aren't you worried that you will never have the chance to ever tell her again? maybe this is a good opportunity to tell her....she is your mother.....and from what you wrote, she sounds like a kind, loving person......so I'm sure she'll understand and wonder why you never told her in the first place......and I REALLY ENCOURAGE you to pray to God and ask him to heal you from it.....yes, I am saying that with God, healing is possible and you can be free from this thing that's haunting you.....WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE........God can make the impossible POSSIBLE =D..........Let me give you an example, I've been reading books lately by JOYCE MEYER......she wrote in one of her books that she was sexually abused by her father when she was a young girl and that scarred her for so many years.........she ran into the wrong direction and made some bad choices and married the first man that showed interest in her........which was a mistake, of course..........and she always felt angry and had a lot of bitterness within her.......but then she met a Godly man and he taught her the healing and love of GOD..........so, yeah, you guessed it........she was healed..........I hope that you will do the same..........I hope I make sense...............and I know that it's easier said than done.........but I hope you ask God to give you the courage to tell your mom...........but I recommend talking to God first, then tell your mom............and best wishes to you and I hope you will be healed and move on with your life because God has a great plan for you.........you just gotta trust him........that's all........and as for those seniors that did that horrible thing to you, I know it's hard for you to forgive them, but it's important that you do........because if you don't, you will not be able to move forward.......just because you forgive someone doesn't mean that what they did was ok......it just means that you will let GOD handle the things they did and you can press on.........trust me, they will pay big time for what they did.......but as for you, ask God to give you strength and courage..........until then, God bless........and I hope and pray that my advice will be helpful to you..........
Reply:First, you did nothing wrong. You were at the wrong place at the right time and the others were wrong. You need more help than you can get from a place like this but it is a good start. You need to go to psychotic treatment and tell your councilor the truth. That's the only way that they can help you.





Next, if you were my son, I would want to know about what happened. I'm sure that your mother wants to help you and she can't do this if you don't open up to her. Also telling her should help you start to heal.





Last of all, an abusive father makes things worse for you. Your self esteem is already low and that makes the assault even harder on you. Just remember that's not your fault either.





I had a young relative who went through the same thing and had to read the books because she was talking to me so it's a problem that I felt I had to learn about. You have made the first step. You can that the next one. Remember you did nothing wrong and you're a good person.
Reply:You poor guy, what a horrible thing to happen. I'm sorry there are such foul people out there.


As to your Mum, if it were me, I would want my son to tell me. My illness would be secondary to my kids problems. My kids come first, so, I reckon, if your Mum is anything like me, she could handle this, and want desparately to help you with this terrible thing. Don't feel guilty for hiding this from her, explain your humilation at the time. Tell her.


You have to put it behind you though. So you need to get some kind of help. You can't deal with this alone, even if you told your Mum, you need professional care.
Reply:That's tough.


If your mom "knows" something is wrong, it will be hard on her not knowing, and hard on her knowing the truth.





You must decide what would hurt her most, personally as a parent the truth would hurt me more than a suspicion of a hurt.





You could show that you are strong and have built character of strength by just saying "mom" it was something from the past, and the past is just that, the past. What happened in the past does and will not define who I am, all is forgiven my transgressors.





I think that way she will know you will always be ok, that's what a parent wants, for their kids to always be ok, that when they have to leave, their kids will be ok.





If it bothers her "too much" to not know, then tell her, but set her up first by giving her the condfidence in you in that one bad moment in your life will not destroy your entire life, you move on to better things and discard the trash.
Reply:Well let me get my flashlight and I will take a look.
Reply:If you really want to hurt your Mom...tell her.


Help! I was raped..please help?

I'm 22 yr old male. At age of 14 I was raped in my boarding school. To this day I am suffering bcoz of that shocking experience. A 14 yr old innocent boy raped by a group of seniors. It was extremely humiliating %26amp; it has shattered my life. It's something so shameful that I could never tell it to anyone. Also I've a physically and emotionally abusive father. I am the only son. My only support is my mom. She has always been there for me %26amp; given me moral support %26amp; unconditional love. I share many personal matters with her because she's very understanding, friendly, and supportive person. But now she is suffering from cancer. The only thing I kept secret from her is this horrible thing in the past -rape. It is very shameful %26amp; I to this day I don't fell comfortable with my body. Meaning I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I'm suffering emotionally. At 22 I secretly took psychatric treatment for post traumatic disorder. But sometimes I feel guilty for hiding frm mom. Should I tell her?

Help! I was raped..please help?
I am so sorry that you had such a horrible thing happened to you!


I understand that you may feel guilty for hiding such a thing from your mother but at this point, i don't think that the news would be good for her.


Trust me on this one... as a mother I can tell you that we all blame ourselves when such terrible things happen to our babies and she needs all of the emotional strength that she can muster right now.


I urge you to continue with counseling! The only people that should feel shame about what happened to you are the people that committed such a violent and degrading act against you!


Please continue to get professional help and just be there for your mom.


My heart goes out to you, good luck.
Reply:yes
Reply:Don't feel guilty, this is not something you should feel you have to tell anyone. I would highly recommend telling a councilor. If you need to talk look an this http://www.rapecrisis.com/ website. This is something you can not deal with alone. Promise me you will get help. Don't feel guilty, it's not your fault. Try http://www.lds.org also good luck. Hope your mom gets better.
Reply:if she isn't deteriorated to much and you have been able to talk to her about everything else then yeah but if she is not to well because of the cancer then it could quite easily make her worse so its up to you if you do or not
Reply:First of all, you have nothing to be ashamed of- you did nothing wrong. I commend you for speaking out here and talking about it. The question about telling your mother, do you want to tell her to unburden yourself? or because yu feel she needs to know? It is my belief that she sounds as though she loves you very much and has been very supportive to you, and you could tell her without fear of judgment. Parents want to help children and want to know about their pain so that they may ease it- even in times of their own crisis. It may help her to know why you have been troubled. Be there for her and support her. continue to seek therapy to talk about your fears, insecurities, and poor body image. Good Luck.
Reply:Sorry to hear about what you've gone thru, but, no I wouldn't tell her. She needs to be as positive as possible at this time. But, you know her best. I tried telling my mom I was gay and she didn't want to hear it so I just left it alone, she also had cancer and I saw no point in trying to force it on her. As for being raped, I was molested many times not raped but molested. It ruined my life. I did not suffer like you did in a violent manner but still did as much harm. I belive that is why I am gay today. Life sucks sometimes. You are still young I am 49 and have since learned to put it in the past. I have to, I am alive and can't let memories get in my way and ruin what's left of my life too. Good luck to you and I hope you learn a way to deal with this. If you need to talk you can e-mail me.
Reply:Man what a story. The violence is still with you and mom is not the issue--the real problem lies in letting go of what happened. Picture the seniors as bugs---they can be crushed. The dad problem ---is the same. Picture your problems as something that you can crush or sweep away. You can picture all that as often as possible. What purpose would telling mom serve?? Why burden this sick woman with a story like yours. At 22 you should move away as soon as your mom's issue gets taken care of. You are number one and your future depends on how well you take care of yourself. Good luck
Reply:WOW. First of all you need to know that it wasnt your fault. I think you should tell her if you feel its right. If you have a connection with your mother then she will probably help you through it. Thats a big secret to hold back.
Reply:that is a tough question... if you are serious and I will answer as if you are... If telling your mom is only going to help you,I would not..there is nothing she can do and it will hurt her tremendously and if as you say she has cancer she does not need the added stress. I truly am sorry for your pain..it must have been horrible to have been raped. But instead of telling your mom you need to go to counseling and maybe the police.... how many other innocent lives are the fu%$#ng A ss holes ruining?





I wish you the best....go find someone to talk to and be strong for your mom
Reply:I don't think you should tell her. I can hardly imagine how hurt she would be upon knowing the truth about what happened to you. However you can tell her if you feel uncomfortable in hiding it from her but I'm just afraid that she won't stop thinking about it and will eventually affect her illness.


If you decide not to tell her you should tell somebody whom you trust completely...maybe a best friend or a cousin? I think keeping it to yourself forever is potentially dangerous to your mental health. Taking psychiatric treatment is good because you definitely need help from a professional.


Are you a religious person? Cuz it really helps if for example you go to church and pray a lot seeking for more guidance for your future life. However, you have to realize 1 crucial thing: no matter what happened in your past, life goes on and I'm absolutely sure that in time you're going to be fine. Believe in yourself that you can go through all this. A lot of people out there suffer more badly than you so treasure every tiny little thing in your life and thank God for His blessings.


Don't forget to smile! :)
Reply:Talk of it and it will reduce with the rate that you think of it.Tell your Mama boy.
Reply:You went through a terrible trauma, but you cannot say it has shattered your life; you cannot let that happen to you. It will never go away 100% but you can still have a happy, healthy life. Please continue with therapy; it is so important. You have nothing to feel ashamed of; you did nothing wrong.


1) I don't think now is the time to tell your mom.


2) There is a book that I think is wonderful for crises and emotional burdens of all kinds. Please don't be put off by the title; its not just for women at all!! "Secrets About Life Every Woman Should Know," by Barbara DeAngelis. It is just how to handle any crisis with strength; it is very good; easy to apply the wisdom to your own life. It changed the way I think. The bookstore can order it for you if they dont have it.


3) I know drs / Siddha Masters from India who come to the US a few times every year. They have herbs that are very, very good for people with cancer. The website is www.amritaveda.com. The herbs can be taken with other medication and chemo, its fine. They are very powerful for the immune system. These drs are unlike anything in the US; I highly recommend them; I have known them for years. My prayers are with you.
Reply:Whats eating you up inside is that you have not told anybody about this traumatic experience, and you've been dealing with this on your own since you were 14, that's 8 years of stress!!! If your not gonna tell your mom, reach out to counselors or a very close friend or family member, this will eat you up inside if you don't and your body will break down over time. You will never be able to grow physically , mentally and emotionally if you don't find help. Please find someone you can talk to about this.
Reply:You said that ur mom is understanding and stuff so go and tell her, let her help you.
Reply:i think you should discuss it with your mom,Maybe you are thinking that it would hurt her more because of her condition.she will understand why you kept it from her because this is not something that you can shout out.I can understand not feeling comfortable with yourself because it was not your choice but you will have to move on and in order to do that you must face all that you are trying to forget,
Reply:I'll tell you from my experience in almost being raped, don't show any interest whatsoever in what they are trying to do to you. Struggle at first to try to get them off to you, but don't try to continue to do so, if you can't get them off of you after about a minute. Don't look at them. I repeat do not look at them. Do not pretend like you are not looking at them. Do not give them any indication that they're there. Let your head go limp to the side and just let your body go completely limp without a care in the world. Once you feel them easing up on you, if they do, since you are not responding in terror (their pleasure) or with cries or helplessness (also their pleasure), spring up quickly. Then, once you spring up, look at their position. Don't run at first, because they can attack you again while you're thinking about getting away. Once you see their position, then, decide what to do.





This instinct I had the day that a guy tried to rape me, left him lying on a bed and me standing at the foot of the bed he was lying on.





Now, I've never told my parents what had happened to me that day. The only reason I haven't is because I was almost raped, not raped. If I had been raped, I would've told someone, as soon as possible, so that he couldn't get away.





I think by you hiding such an awful situation from your mom is explainable, but not beneficial to your healing. The seniors who raped you didn't just give you a wedgie or a titty-twister. They didn't just hang you by your pants on a hook in the school bathroom and laugh at you or call you names and let that be the end of it, they injected their genital organs into you against your will and refused to stop, when you asked them to. What they had done to you was not pull a senior prank on you, but commit a crime. So, I'd have to say, do what's in your best interest about the situation, but don't ever discount what happened to you that day. They were seniors, and what they did to you was not right.
Reply:i think not! coz she is now suffering from a severe disease and if you tell her then it might just add up to her pain coz she might blame herself for it for not taking care of you.on the other hand maybe yes coz shes now dying(no offense)she must know the truth so she'll be at peace. after telling her just say that your now okay and youve oercome the trauma. tell her to not blame herself coz its not her fault and past is past....(even if not)hope that the lord will guide you in your decisions.god bless to you and your mom.